The algorithm for life after 30

This is what happens when you’re an “adult” and spend too much time on Slack with other nerds. If you’re offended, just know that I already took out the really juicy stuff.

while (stillAlive) {
    children.forEach(child => {
            if (child.age < 18) {
                spendTime(child);
            }
    })
    jobsAndChores.forEach(stuffTodo => {
            stuffTodo.work();
    })
    if (grandParentsHouse.contains(children) && random(99) == 42) {
            try {
                watchMovie(Movies.Scifi);
            }
            catch (WifeHomeError e) {
                if (wife.complain(e) == true) {
                    stillAlive = false;
                }
                else {
                    watchMovie(Movies.Foreign.Romantic);
                }
            }
    }
}

How would you improve this algorithm? What’s the (PG rated) algorithm for life at 20? Is there any life at all after 40?